Tag: funny

Butt Evolution

Go ahead, laugh your butt off🍑🍑😂😂 Little jiggle wiggle giggle for your Saturday morning 😀

Butt Evolution

http://theselftalkshow.blog/2019/05/25/butt-evolution/
— Read on theselftalkshow.blog/2019/05/25/butt-evolution/

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April 17th Holidays

Carol, over at Therapy Bits, posted the holidays for today. You can read all the interesting ones HERE 😀

My favorite are International Haiku Poetry Day & Blah, Blah, Blah Day.

Here’s my special contribution in honor of this holiday 🙂

Clothed in his blackest,

He waited for the right time,

To harpoon his spear! 

person wearing black zip hoodie sitting in front of gray wooden plank wall during nighttime

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

In honor of Blah, Blah, Blah Day

And

Rhetorical

“How did you sleep?”

With my eyes closed.

” How do you like your eggs?”

Cooked.

” How do you take your coffee?”

In a cup.

“How was your day?”

Well it started early, then it got later.

“Would you like plastic bags for your groceries?”

Nope, I’ll juggle everything to the car.

Ha, I ain’t got time for all that 😂😂😂😂

February #coffeeshare

Coffee time! Who else is enjoying the liquid elixir of sanity and dilution of adult responsibility?! I’m heading to round two, as I slept hard but not enough. My mattress is severely in need of a replacement. My girls loved to jump on it. One day, I heard a crack or something that I shouldn’t have. Fun fun fun!

How’s everyone doing today? It’s the second month of the year! How’s your resolutions coming? Every day is a fresh start, it’s never too late to try again.

Post Birthday Syndrome

Prompts taken from Promptuarium

finding💲.22 cents and a poorly written note, on my bedside dresser, the next morning.

The spirits of death have to be close. There’s no aspirin in your house, and you puked everywhere last night. I had to leave. Your breath could knock a buzzard off a shit wagon!”

Chow,

You’ll never see me again

To-Do List

Find the aspirin

Call Jennifer

Find this guy & kick his ass

Trip to Walmart… B4 9am

Standing in Walmart’s Pick Up, before 9:

* Almost everyone has a phone in hand (including me).

* Lady in the next isle over is talking loud enough that the British can understand her.

* Every associate is secretly thinking “WTF are you doin here before a decent hour” with their most cheery attitude.

* Most people back here look like a bad case of death by Friday Night Hangover.

*

I can’t wait to try this coffee. Does Crème Brulèe taste like vanilla?

* Are grandma elephants as lovely as most human grandmas?

*Somebody’s having a private rap concert close by.

* The associate who just walked past looked like Fiona from Shameless. Her real name is Diana.

* It’s only been 5 minutes, and I’m already over this waiting.

* 2lbs of Strawberries here is nearly $8! F that~

* Walmart has recently installed this ginormous not fun bulky tower thing for pick up orders.

B.I.N.G.O

Bingo entry here 🙂 Did you submit yours?

B- The buttery banana bread beautifully baked for the birthday bash.

I- An inquisitive iguana crawls up into the island loo.

N- Nora never needed nine lives to know new boxes were tough for gnawing.

G- Gilbert giggled at the gym class as they glided across the glowing glass.

O- Oggie brought the oversized orange cake to the October office party .

Haha, this was a lot of fun!

photo credit: Pinterest

Laugh it Away

Sadje’s story was an incredible delight to read!

Thank you, Keep It Alive, for such a cheeky and pleasant post!! I chuckled as I read what happened.

It reminds us that life really should be lived, and that we should allow ourselves the laughter rather than carry embarrassment. I’ve had a few instances where I truly embarrassed myself. What are you to do though? There’s nothing that can change the situation, and there’s nothing that can prevent mistakenly awkward from reoccurring… So, just laugh out loud, bid them good day, and be on your way😂😂

Photo Credit Attached

50 utterly random things about ME😂

  1. I can’t stand wet sand.
  2. I wash dishes from left to right.
  3. My bed is in the corner of my bedroom.
  4. I don’t have any allergies.
  5. I love most genres of music.
  6. Fushias, Daffodils, and Tiger Lilies are my favorite.
  7. I’ve tried Oyster and Lamb before.
  8. I’ve been to Alaska.
  9. My favorite animals are stingrays and turtles.
  10. I have an electronic toothbrush.
  11. I have an upstairs apartment.
  12. I played the sax and clarinet in school.
  13. I grew up in the country.
  14. I’m scared of heights.
  15. I’ve never tried any drug or cigarettes.
  16. I know how to ride a bike.
  17. I’ve never lived outside Ohio.
  18. My biological dad and I have recently started talking again.
  19. I love thick raspberry chocolate cheesecake.
  20. I own a laminate machine.
  21. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.
  22. I had one dog growing up.
  23. I had an upstairs bedroom.
  24. I own 3 different pair of glasses.
  25. I love chocolate with most things, especially nuts.
  26. I can’t stand tomato juice.
  27. I idolize Princess Diana.
  28. I’m an 8.5 size shoe.
  29. I fit into the same earings I wore in high school.
  30. I didn’t play any sports.
  31. I love red and pink wine.
  32. My home has rugs, not carpeting.
  33. I have lavender scented toilet paper.
  34. I’ve been married 2x before.
  35. I’ve recently watched “Sing” (super cute!)
  36. Some of my favorite TV shows are Chicago Med, Greys Anatomy, and The Good Doctor.
  37. Old places fascinate me.
  38. My heritage stems from Great Britian, Wales, and France.
  39. I have a PreKindergarden Teaching degree.
  40. I don’t have upper wisdom teeth but still have bottom.
  41. I love watching people (especially when they sleep).
  42. I’m 5ft 5 inches tall.
  43. My mother is my hero.
  44. I think of my pap when I hear coo-coo clocks.
  45. Some day I want a yard of fruit trees.
  46. I don’t know how to ice skate.
  47. I’ve been in the Macys Thanksgiving Day Parade.
  48. I’ve been on Maury Povitch.
  49. Both my kids weighed 8+lbs at birth.
  50. I really don’t know if I’m that interesting? Haha

5 easy turkey crafts 4 kids

My girls absolutely love crafting, and I love participating, while listening to them chatter💗The credited source is linked to each of these photos. You can find the full list of supplies and instructions, as well as other activities, by visiting the links.

Here’s a list of 10 easy and cute turkey crafts for the holidays

  1. img_0877I love this activity because the supplies are cheap, and the instructions are so simple! Little kids need to learn how to spell his/her name so this is such a cute lesson.

1.  Have your child color the paper plate brown.

2.  Cut and attach the feet,  bill and caruncle.  Also, attach the eyes.

3.  Cut and label a feather from construction paper for each letter in your child’s name.

Note:  Your child may be able to do step 2 and 3 on their own.

4.  Hide the letter feathers in a designated space.


2.

This thank you turkey is too adorable! Even those who don’t celebrate Thanksgiving, could participate with this. Kids practice writing, using scissors, and while having fun!

The instructions can be found in the link attached to the picture;).

Materials

  • Small paper cup
  • Brown acrylic paint or tempera paint
  • Green, red, orange, and yellow paper
  • Wiggle eyes
  • White glue
  • Scissors
  • Paint brush
  • Markers or colored pencils

Instructions can be found in the link attacked to the photo😉


4.

These are so precious!! I remember, while growing up, we’d make these in school. The sentimental gift is always priceless!

Supplies Needed:

  • Plain Wooden Frame;
  • Brown Paint and Paintbrushes
  • Feathers
  • Google Eyes
  • Glue Gun
  • Foam Triangle Sticker

The instructions can be found in the link attached to the picture;).


5.

This activity teaches number recognition and follow simple direction concepts. Kids can color it by number, paint it, fill them in with finger prints, or colored rice. The older kids can use this for a counting activity, too.

Conversation Starter anyone?

The Haunted Wordsmith ended up on a conversation starter website, and I’ve mentally noted to monitor her browsing (haha, just kidding)!

From the site, she pulled 20 questions. I’m listing those and my answers below :

  1. What movie would be “improved” if it was turned into a musical?
  2. What is the weirdest thing you have ever found on someone else’s blog?
  3. Have you ever been scared by a kid’s movie?
  4. If you were arrested, what would others assume you had done?
  5. What is the most ridiculous fact you know?
  6. What is one unwritten rule where you work/used to work?
  7. What is the best type of cheese?
  8. If blogs were food, which food best represents your blog?
  9. What conspiracy would you like to start?
  10. What fictional character would you like to hang out with for a day?
  11. When you fart in public, do you blame others?
  12. What fictional character would be the most boring to meet in real life?
  13. What is the worst thing that has happened in your kitchen?
  14. If you could swap places with a fictional character for a day, who would it be and why?
  15. How much money would it take for you to give up a vice?
  16. What three items would you take to a deserted island that had plenty of food, fresh water, and a cabin?
  17. Which fictional couple would you like to break up the most?
  18. When you see someone yawn, do you yawn?
  19. What is something you used to think was true, but then found out it wasn’t?
  20. Have you ever misheard song lyrics? Is yes, which one and what did you think it was?

My answers:

  1. Pocahontas
  2. Considering I haven’t been a long time blogger, nothing “super weird” stands out.
  3. I have yes, E.T.!
  4. They would assume I burglarized the coffee shop.
  5. There are more empty houses than homeless people in the United States.
  6. I really can’t answer that.
  7. The absolute best type of cheese is colby jack.
  8. If my blog were a food, it would be trail mix.
  9. I would say, our justice system is ” guilty unless chosen innocent “.
  10. I would want to hang out with Timon & Pumba.
  11. I don’t fart and tell. No one has ever heard me….. Ever.
  12. I guilty don’t think any of them would be boring.
  13. I hit the handle of a skillet full of freshly finished dinner. It flew everywhere.
  14. I would swap places with Rafiki because he’s wise and knows everything that’s happening.
  15. I have absolutely no idea.
  16. I would take my two girls and my boyfriend before any “item”.
  17. Hook and Emma Swan.
  18. I don’t immediately, but eventually lol.
  19. That I was to difficult to love.
  20. I used to do this all the time. My older sister would get such a laugh. I can’t remember any certain song.

Uncle Al before coffee

Photo Credit attached

This is Uncle Al, the snapping turtle. There’s one in every family, you know; the crazy uncle who’s lost a screw or few. The Uncle that makes you feel super sane because he’s a bit out there?

Well Uncle Al just woke up. He’s waiting on coffee. Uncle Al is extra snappy before his coffee. Don’t be decieved by his cute porky nose and crooked smile.

Check out The Daily Writing Challenge here.

#FOWC: Drawer

Photo Prompt Credit : Patt Mike on Pixabay

In the comfort of familiar four walls, the man sat comfortably, in his drawers. These were his absolutely favorite pair. They were light green, with splashes of neon blue and orange across the material. Not only, were they the most comfortable pair, but also, held sentimental value. His sister had gifted them to him four years ago, as a going away gift. They had always been so close and were never good at good byes.

Photo Credit Source : DanceERB on Pixabay

He had entered a contest being held at his local art gallery. The theme was “Repurpose”. He knew exactly what he wanted to create, and he worked diligently until his piece was perfect. Since he was a child, he’s always thrown himself deep into the arts. This was his voice when the teenage years were aggravating. This was his sense of healing when he lost his parents in a skydiving accident. It was through a painting, that he felt alive again…There’s been freedom in this escape. He was so grateful for the talents he’s been given.

Finally, after several hours, he was finished. It was simple but yet held an appreciation for creativity. Ironically, that could be his mantra for his own life. Simplicity births opportunity and better life. This he understands.

Photo Credit : Congerdesign on Pixabay

Check out Fandango’s One Word Challenge Here 🙂

#FOWC: Beard Fun

Inspired by FOWC: Beard

I have just found my “wow” for the day!

You guys ready for this?

Brace yourselves….

I adore individuals who are comfortable in their own skin…. But in this case,

Comfortable in their beard?

Ummm?

This afternoon, I was driving home, with my two daughters.

As I sat at a red light, (by the way, I’ve stopped and waited for stop signs to turn green as well. Brandy’s Not So Bright Chronicals might be in the works!) I noticed a flag hanging on a porch.

Typically, this would be no big deal. Today, along with the flag, stood three naked full body size manikins!!! I had to laugh because Starship’s melody began singing in my head.

Maybe they were declaring unstoppable love?!

#WAD: Inevitable

The deliciously inevitable pair 🍩☕️!!

 

This post is my next entry in Roger Shipp’s The Daily Addictions Challenge. You can learn more about his challenge, view the chosen word prompts, and read previous posts by clicking on his name 🙂

#FF: Re-humanizing Cafe

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Photo Prompt ©️Dale Rogerson

This patio welcomed every passerby. The funny part is, NYC natives tell the same story: after a brief stay, every resident reroutes ship to sail this street as often as possible. Ezra did just that. Angelina’s Sip & Sweets was the best, hands down.

The light’s collapsed upon an atmosphere of adventure, wonder and, yet, peace. Graduating from year to year, the coffee shop gained the best preposterous stories; satisfying the craze of so many ill-fuctioning businessmen.

Ezra sheepishly chuckled. In her 29 years, she’s, occasionally,  relied on her hot mocha latte to survived work with a horrendous hangover. Whoops!


Every Friday, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields- Addicted to Purple encourages writers to challenge him/herself with a Photo Prompt and literary genre. You can read more about it but clicking her name, above.

Day 12

Prompt:Which cartoon character best represents your personality?

A cartoon character that best fits my personality is the baboon, Rafiki, from The Lion King.

He is smart, funny, wise, always seeking truth, and respectful of the Earth’s balance. He tries to keep others on the right path, and he’s always putting others before himself. His wisdom is shared in moments when it’s needed, whether or not it was asked if him. He’s active, nurturing, and a great contribution to any group of characters.

Now, if I were to choose a historical fiction character,

Pocahontas would defiantly be her! She’s beautiful, wise, full of adventure, courageous, and Native American. She’s loved in nature as much as she loves it herself. She does what’s right despite what’s the popular opinion, and she’s a spiritual being.

Scrumpshulisious

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I know I know, that’s technically not a word; but, I have no other that describes the escalating sensation of my taste buds!

Haha, you foodies KNOW what I’m talking about, right?! That instant you taste the very first bite of heaven after salivating for twenty years, while it cooked. The sweetest hint of love, the perfect temperature, and the burst of flavors all combined in a single euphoric moment!

That was my past 20 mins. I made a Walmart Great Value batch of stuffed shells, Marie Calendar Mashed Sweet Potatoes and Carrots, with New York Bakery Pull Aparts garlic bread!

I didn’t keep the shells covered as instructed. I also never start cooking a dish at the recommended temperature. Shortly after 45 mins, I increased the degree, added Kraft cheddar cheese to the shells and cinnamon, light sugar, and pecans to the sweet potatoes!

Whether I was unaware of my hunger level, or how awesome I cook, my lunch was the bomb diggity!

#7 Well Done Meal

With the humidity here in Cleveland, I’ve lived on salads, sandwiches, and finger refrigerator foods. It’s awesome to know it’s healthy, and my body appreciates the sentiment. It’s just calories make me feel a bit more me and much less like Dracula! 😂😂😂 (Insert any Snickers commercial here..) This evening, I managed to bake chicken breasts covered with ranch dressing and Italian breadcrumbs! It was AMAZING!! The meat was super moist and loaded with flavor! I made Spanish Rice and a small veggies and cheese combo side! Collectively, everything complimented one another and was delicious! My girls weren’t interested in having any so I even got to enjoy it HOT!!

“Yay for happiness on a plate😂😂😂😂”

Evening Wishes

D8D13419-6412-48E6-B54D-72FC0B010927At the end of the day,

May you feel thankful for your good moments.

May you feel blessed to have a roof , anything edible, clothing on your back and hope in your heart.

May you feel relieved “this too shall pass”, in these last 12-16 hrs has passed!

May you feel content that you aren’t perfect, but you can only do the best you can.

May your burdens rest on your bedside floor, in the wishes of God (whomever you believe or don’t believe in), to handle them.

May your children be sound asleep, and may they sleep all night through.

May they only ask for a drink half the times, and restroom 2-3.

May the moon remind you that love is beating in your heart, and it keeps your loved ones there.

May your pets not snore, your spouse snore quieter, and the bedbugs be on a permanent vacation 😉

Good Night, Blog World:)

But first….. #coffee

socialdraft.com/coffee-hashtags-for-instagram/

Anyone who knows me even on a bypassing moment level, knows I am only #human when I’m #drinkingcoffee. It’s my greatest #passion. I enjoy #coffee so much, that I have a #KeurigSingleCup maker and a #BlackandDeckerDripMaker.

In addition to my multiple cups of morning sanity, my routine consists of posting on social media. That’s pretty normal, right? Most of us get up, get the #caffeineIVdrip ready, hit up the loo, then #sitandsip, while we post? Haha! What world do I live in, I know! I’m blessed to have such opportunities.

Coffee and instagram are just a few of my favorite things =)! If this is you too, this article will be a welcoming cup of #happiness, boosts in profile hashtags, views, and quite possibly followers.

Have Fun!