Being with myself

Sometimes, it’s not easy. The hurts and ugliness of the past creep up, and it sinks. The reminder of the loss pulls us back to anger or dispair.

Emotions are just that though. They’re temporary. I know that’s not much of a bandage, but at least it’s a mustard seed of hope.

Tonight, after great celebration of my daughter’s 7th birthday, my heart sank at the loss I’ve recently experienced. No the individual hasn’t died, but he’s probably not going to be in my life.

Logically speaking, there’s no reason why I should be in discouragement. I surely went through hell and back trying to make it work. In the end, I came out feeling so absurdly abused and empty… And abandoned.

I need to be with myself right now. I don’t trust words. I won’t open up and show my transparency. I can’t imagine being emotionally, let alone physically intimate with someone else.

It all just sucks.

Nova Namastè