I’m tired

Sometimes, even the strongest of us get tired. We become weary and discouraged. We become frustrated with life and the endless fight to keep from sinking. We become mentally, emotionally, physically exhausted… To the point where that it’s impossible for us to give anything else. We feel dried up, empty, drained, lifeless, out of fuel, diffused over of which & who we are responsible.

It’s a struggle because so many look up to us. We do our most humanly best to not show such a state of ourselves, but we are human. It’s bound to happen.

What happens then? Where do we find our confidant and support? Where do we go when we’re so lifeless that we don’t have the means to leave the privacy of home, or hell, even our room? What’s available to us when we feel we’ve disappointed everyone who’s depending on us?

What do we do when we feel we’re disappointing ourselves? When we know that our exhaustion is weight that we don’t HAVE to carry.. But really do feel obligated to, so that others may feel free to fly.

For me, right now, I’m going to choose to sleep. It’s the very last thing I want to be doing. It’s the last thing I should be doing. It shouldn’t even be on my agenda for the day, but her words still hurt me…

My sink full of dirty dishes are waiting for me.

My bags full of laundry to put away.

The mopping needs done.

I need to get outside and exercise and spend time with my daughter.

I have work that I could be doing.

Yes, there’s lots I COULD be doing… But, right now, I’m going to sleep.

And despise all in the judgemental realm of our universe.

10 Comments

  1. crushedcaramel

    I gave up being a perfectionist when I was about 24. I made myself very ill placing unreasonable demands on myself. After eighteen months of illness, I finally had my head sorted out and had learnt how important it is to be balanced, modest about my own limitations and reasonable. Funny enough when I understood how important rest and relaxation were, I found I was even more productive than ever, just knew how important it was to take care of my head and body properly. Sleep is a wonderful wonderful thing! Never a waste of time!

    Liked by 1 person

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