Featured 3: My Life Life mental health Whats Needed Said writing

Mental Health & Suicide

I'm STILL angry...

I’ve been on both sides of this coin. I’ve earned my place to speak on the subject… And I’ve been given my right to speak up about the hellish nightmare it creates.

For those in pain, like David was, I understand you want the pain to stop… But, it won’t until you choose to live through, heal, and past it. Like David, you have access to a hotline… Individuals who WILL listen. You have access to complete strangers here, who DO care! You have access to legalized Weed in the event of unbearable physical pain. There’s resources available.

But, what’s not going to happen is your pain stopping if you choose to take your life! Let me repeat that, your pain WILL NOT stop just because you choose to take your life… It won’t. Accept it… Face it… Repeat it… Do whatever necessary for you to get it… Your pain, this immense pain and grief that you feel… That’s haunting you and robbing you of sleep… That’s stealing your joy and happiness… That’s sucking the life out of you… That pain… Will just be placed on the shoulders of those you leave behind… You’re choosing to throw the batton at them… When they’re even not in the race. You’re handing over your pain, expecting them to breathe and smile… And live and work and parent and be… When you weren’t responsible enough to do that.

I was 28… with an 18month old baby. He wasn’t thinking about OUR daughter… or the HELP THAT IS AVAILABLE! He overdosed… abandoning My Zivah! Suicide IS selfish! It doesn’t stop the dead’s pain but passes it on to the Living!…

If you hurt this much, do something about it! There’s options for you. No one else can make you, and no one else can change you… No one else can decide this for you, and no one else should….

#SpeakUp

#BreaktheSilence

#Suicideawareness

#NeverGiveUp

#BreaktheCycle

#ChoosetoLive

#ItsUpToYou

He abandoned his daughter! Every single day I’m excessively protective Of MY ZIVAH… and I couldn’t even keep this away from her. See the “survivors guilt” and “hurt pain and suffering”…. It’s hell. Don’t do this to those you say you love… Because suicide solves NOTHING!!!!

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18 comments

  1. Omg I had no idea you’ve been thru this, Nova! I’m so sorry this happened to you ☹️ Personally, I have had suicidal tendencies in the past. It messes with the mind and we’re brainwashed into thinking these thoughts. Yes, it’s selfish to commit suicide but for the person living with the suicidal demons in their head, it’s awful. Whenever I feel suicidal I feel like I can’t control these thoughts at all and often have the urge to cut myself. I do believe that post-partum depression can affect men just like it affects women which can lead to major depressive episodes. I also think mental health isn’t talked about as much as it should be. About Hotlines…. overheard someone today telling her friend to use one today. It’s good to know ppl do use them.

    It’s still horrible that Zivah lost her dad this way. I understand that it has put a huge strain on you and your family. Both you and Zivah are strong girls and I know you will find a way to get thru it all. Day by day.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is selfish… and if they can’t see the pain of the death… that’s only been passed on… then, that’s their point of view. I’m livid that my daughter is growing up without a father… who felt his absence was better than his presence.

      Liked by 2 people

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