Day: April 16, 2019

My Mental Health Journey 8

I’ve endure child abuse. I’ve been urged to kill myself. I’ve lived with severe depression and major panic attacks. I’ve been married and divorced, and married again… I’ve endured my second husband’s suicide… And the whole community dubbing me ” psycho murderer”… I’ve had two girls, both over 9lbs, and HPV during my second pregnancy. I’ve been wrongfully robbed of 95% of my possessions, and traveled across the country with a full blown narsassist. I’ve endured roadside stranded, vehicle towed, and so much more…

And I’ve been strong through it. I’ve felt capable in my solitude to handle the situation…

With this recent event, I’m struggling. These emotions of fear and deep sadness might be apart of what he’s feeling… I don’t know. I just know I can’t seem to feel comfort… As badly as I want to. My boyfriend’s son is at the hospital with him. He’s the closest to my bf I can be right now… And he’s not sentimental… He probably doesn’t give much care about what I’m feeling right now… And to an extent, I can understand that.

I just wish I had someone who’d come see me and have coffee. Someone who could give me an in person hug, and reassure me he’s going to wake up. I’ve watched entirely toooooo many medical shows where my brain is trying to say “He could sleep for weeks, even months.”! Someone please tell my irrational fears to quiet.

Guh, I’m exhausted. In the meantime, my vehicle sits unmoved… Till this weekend, when I could pay to do anything with it. My girls are constantly tatling on one another. Everything is ” that’s mineeeeee!!!!!”… Or my toddler throwing it over the side of our porch.

Life is going to get easier, but im ready for that time to be now. I saw another trilogy of 4s tonight. It’s odd how virtually normal they are to me. It made me smile.

Anyway, I’m tired. Today’s day one of this craziness. Day 3 for the bf unconscious from brain swelling.

I’m never struggled with faith… But, we’re not meant to do life alone… So, I’m going to need you guys.

If you’d like to send me anything that’s funny or a quick hello or funny meme…. Whatever the case, my email is

dreambeliever2010@outlook.com

Good night 🌺 Good Morning to you East of the US and Good Afternoon to you on the West Coast!

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3-2-1 Quote Me: Attitude

Hiya!! 🤚🏼🥰 I wasn’t fortunate enough to be tagged by some lovely blogger, to participate in this challenge; but, I’m playing along anyway ❤️

Quotes about Attitude:

This has been one of my favorites since I’ve first heard it ~

Photo Credit Pinterest
Photo Credit Pinterest
Photo Credit Pinterest

Free to Fly

Free in every and in all ways!
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mentalhealth #ptsd #suicide #selfcare #selflove #depressionrecovery #mentaldisorders #anxiety #mindfulness #psychology #mentalhealthmatters #anorexia #depression #eatingdisorderrecovery #mentalillness #invisiblescares #edrecovery #chrysalis #meditation #prorecovery #realrecovery #mentalhealthawareness #nourishnotpunish #selfworth #mentalhealthwarrior #mindful #intentionalliving #recoveryisworthit #spiritual #selflove

Save the Honey Bees

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Bee Facts 🐝

  1. Bees memory is manipulated by caffeine. (Read more about that buzzzz here!)
  1. The venom of a bee sting is used for treating things such as arthritis and blood pressure. ( Read more about bee facts here!)
  1. Male bees are nearly useless. ( Read more about that here!)
  1. Honeybees will change their brain chemistry before performing a new task. ( Check it out!)
  1. One bee has to fly about 90,000 miles – three times around the globe – to make one pound of honey. ( Read more about it here!)

Urgent Request: Update

I’m asking for continued prayer please.

His condition hasn’t changed, although we do know minimal swelling and no neuro damage.

I’m needing prayer to keep the irrationality of my anxiety at bay. I need to be hopeful and strong in my faith.

Thank you so much everyone 🦋🌺

So You Know

This So You Know Challenge is hosted by Revenge Of Eve
  1. Do you take responsibilty for other peoples problems and/or emotions, unknowingly? If so, move on to question 2, if not…head on to #3.
  2. When did you noticed this behavior was burdening you and stunting your growth? Was it a particular incident or did someone verbally tell you that it isn’t your responsibility?
  3. Were you raised by giving parents or by parents who gave only to throw it in your face later?
  4. Lastly, what are your opinions concerning parents being held responsible for their children’s action? As in – what age is the child when they are held responsible for their own actions? Is this opinion reflective of how your parents raised you or opposite?

My Answers

  1. I don’t feel I take on responsibility for others problems/emotions other than my two girls. They’re under age, so I feel I’m partially responsible for them.
  2. Skipped
  3. I was raised by two adults that did a great job providing the necessities. When it came to privilege, my mother felt it her role to constantly remind us that we should be grateful… Whether or not the situation, actually, needed such a reminder.
  4. I partially answered this in #1. I feel as they gain an understanding of right and wrong, they begin to take accountability for their behavior. They learn how their behavior impacts others, by discussing how it makes the person feel… And they can decide what needs done to correct it. By the teenage years, young adults should be taking responsibility for most of their behavior ; but, rebellion is another story.