My Mental Health Journey 7×2

It’s been hours since I’ve heard the news, and I don’t feel any better. I actually feel worse.

He’s unconscious because of a concussion. The thought of him like that breaks my heart.

My chest has physically hurt, all day. That could be because I’ve been alone, in my apartment, all day.

I’ve struggled with feeling a sense of belonging in his life, because he doesn’t remember me before last November. I question if I do have a right to know how he’s doing, or if I’m right where I should be. Not because I don’t love him, but because he doesn’t remember much of me. It’s all terribly painful. I feel I’ve invested so much into him that I deserve and should get updates, that these recent feelings are insecurities… But I also want what’s best for him… And I want to be a good impact, a healthy choice for him.

Then my car, guys, yesterday morning, I nearly lost control of it twice. My breaks started grinding when I went in reverse recently, so I knew I needed to make an appointment to have an alignment done. I didn’t have enough money so I was going to barrow some from my bf.

Meanwhile, while waiting for the funds to transfer, I’m going down the highway, and my wheels wanted to take my car to the right… Rather than straight. I don’t know if the rain made it lose traction or what, but I haven’t moved it since.

All of this has happened at once… And me in my head is making my chest hurt more by the second. Sure I’m positive I’ll have enough to get my car fixed, I’m almost positive my boyfriend will be released with minimal issues…

But, right now, I just need people to tell me, you’re not alone. Breathe, hey listen to my day, just distract me with conversation or reassurance that everything WILL be ok.

I need that right now…. Not likes. Thank you all. πŸŒΈπŸ’–

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26 thoughts on “My Mental Health Journey 7×2”

  1. I am not sure exactly of what has happened with your boyfriend, but when I received major head injures it did effect my memories. It did upset seem people who I have been told were a part of my life. Why those memories are blank, I have no idea. But I have just had to take on day at a time. I have been and out of hospital ever since and I know it alarms my family, but I am a bit matter of fact about it. I just do what I can, make the most of life and people and then when I am rushed into hospital, I am just grateful they do their best to make it safe for me to go home and back to work. I used to feel as if I needed a long time to recover after every hospital admission, but now I just go straight back to my normal routine. My family have found it distressing. But I just want to live. I don’t have full control over my memory, but I do try to control my emotions I keep my chin up and try to live life with gusto.
    It must be very worrying for you. It sounds as if a lot of other worries are piling on top of the worry about your boyfriend. But I do hope you can make every moment with him special, because life and love are very special. ❀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m just now seeing this. Today was SOOOOO hectic at work. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with so much at once! Don’t ever hesitate to reach out to me when you need a friend! I’ll gladly be a shoulder to cry on, listening ear, etc… sending you lots of love, hugs, prayers, good thoughts, & positive vibes!! β€πŸ§‘πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’œ

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Some periods in life, it just feels like when it rains it pours…or drops a tornado down on us! It’s rough and it can feel as though there is no light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. I’ve been there so many times. And although I thought it wouldn’t get any better, that awful period of time did indeed pass, and better times were waiting for me. I hope your better times come along quickly. In the meantime, know you are not alone! We have all been there. Hang in there! The light is coming!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Well I am sending you virtual hugs right now! It’s going to be okay. I know it doesn’t feel that way right now, but I promise, there’s a light at the end of it all. I’ve learned that when bad things happen, something good always blooms out of it. I just can’t see it right away. But it comes…Much love to you! ❀

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I feel all the hugs! From the update from the hospital, he’s stable and there’s minimal damage… And should be no longterm damage. I’m so grateful for you, and everyone here at WP! I can usually feel the hope of every situation, but today was hard!

          Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m so sorry. I clicked like automatically when your name appeared, so I don’t want to β€œunlike,” but yes definitely breathe and just focus on self-care and the girls for the rest of the day. You will get through this. Boyfriend is where he needs to be right now getting medical attention, so you focus on you. πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–

    Liked by 1 person

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