My Mental Health Journey 5
“You seem happier!”
Someone just texted me that.
It’s crazy how fast words hit my eyes, then my heart, head, and soul at the same time.
Inspiration is so refreshing.
Anyway, what these three words said to me is
” You’re validated.”
” You’re hard work is paying off.”
” You are improving, what you’re doing is working.”
It’s encouraging to hear from another that they see what I’ve been working so hard to achieve.
It’s not about acceptance from anyone else, but that my efforts are evident and I can proudly smile in self validation.
I am happier. It’s true.
In my writing, I’m able to expose my ugliness and feel heard.
That, alone, is freeing.
You’re my therapy sessions lol, except I’m not paying a fortune, and limited to two hours.
I’m happier because of this job opportunity.
There’s more to that than what’s on the surface.
Ten years ago, I was a married closeted Bisexual, living in low income and ghetto housing, miserable, lost, and unhappy.
I had little confidence & very little pride in myself.
That year, I graduated with a 4.0 and a teaching license.
It was the being of my self discovery.
This job opportunity is the first one that I’m excited to start.
This is the first one that I feel confident to do, and to do well.
This is the most motivated and eager I’ve felt about a job ” EVER”!
MAYBE it’s because this job is career material, incredible in so many ways.
I’m happier because I’m working on my emotions.
Being INFJ & HSP, AND EMPATH is exhausting.
There’s only a few of you who can possibly understand what I’m saying.
But, what I’m doing, and I just went through this process this morning, is being mindful and intentional about what I feel.
I was feeling so down this morning. I felt a certain way about an individual, and I didn’t like it.
Instead of sorting through why I felt as I did, I slipped insecurity through my fingers via text.
Then, I remembered I didn’t have to feel yucky. I realized I could identify what I do feel, remove the foggy lense, and feel ok.
I’m happier because I feel some sense of purpose.
Making time to care for these free little libraries has been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
I’m able to demonstrate kindness to my daughter’s.
I’m able to use my time for a greater good.
I able to get outside, and invest into the future of generations to come.
This allows me to give to the community and not have to deal with coworkers and deadlines lol.
This also provides a place where I can place necessities for those who may need it.
It feels good to feel this sense of self acceptance and identity.
It really does!