Day: April 8, 2019

My Mental Health Journey 4

The conversation became about his surgery. I realized that there’s things that were unsaid, that I needed to say. I realized that he never asked me about my thoughts regarding the surgery, not before it happened, and not since.

I realized, in my definition of a relationship, that that wasn’t ok. I realized that choices are made by everyone, but in a relationship, some need to be made together. In a relationship, couples communicate about their lives. They share and involve one another.

He made the decision to have this surgery without me even knowing about it. He didn’t talk to me about it. He didn’t ask me what my thoughts were. He just made this decision… And it resulted in him forgetting who I am.

So yes, I feel angry. I feel lots of anger, because it’s me he forgot. I feel angry because it’s me he left out when the option was presented to him. It’s me who has suffered the biggest loss.

It’s my emotions and thoughts he still hasn’t asked about. It’s my life that’s had the biggest impact as a result of HIS choice… And he gets mad when I explain all this to him. He gets mad when I explain that my relationship with him is different than any other he has, that I deserve consideration when it comes to such decisions, that being with someone means respecting their views… Even if you don’t go with their suggestion.

No, he made this choice to have surgery, without me knowing, hurt me, more like devastate me, then disrespect my thoughts when I finally speak up… He says ” My body, my choice!”

Sometimes people don’t realize what they have until it becomes a memory.

I sure never asked for this. I’m most defiantly not happy. I no longer have the desire to try with him.

I want to work and better life for my girls.