I’ve been unable to focus these last few days, much less blog. My girls were with my younger daughter’s father for the weekend, and I hoped I would have been feeling better.
Saturday morning arrived, and I didn’t feel better. I was feeling worse. I knew I had a respiratory infection; but, I cleaned out my ears on top of that. Yes, typically that’s a good thing. It’s apart of hygiene. For me, unfortunately, it always means AT LEAST two days of “vertigo” symptoms will, undoubtedly, follow.
What is vertigo? It’s a condition within the inner ear, in which the hairs become super sensitive, and possibly fluid causes the equilibrium to go off center. All that jargon to say, it feels like being drunk but without the alcohol. For me, cleaning my ears means high body temps, temple ache, headache possibly, irritability, all the fun stuff.
I believe yesterday ( the second to worst day I’ve felt in two weeks.) was a result of that. I couldn’t cool down, then I couldn’t warm up. I had my thermostat set at 72 degrees. There’s no reason why I should have been cold. So, I struggled to feel ok, at all.
In addition to my physical pain, my heart hurt, for many reasons. (Mind you I have been off my antidepressants because I physically haven’t had the strength to take or stomach them).
First, I spent the entire day yesterday watching A Million Little Things! Ohhh..Emmm…Geeee! I was absorbed into the show after five minutes into episode one. The problem was, was this time machine of a TV show took me back to 2014… When my husband committed suicide. I could relate to nearly every character. The responses and the questions, the hurt and confusion. I felt every bit of every episode… But, it sure took a lot out of me.
Before that, I had written about my Mental Health Journey, here on WP. Completing those two tasks consecutively wasn’t smart. It was what it was though.
In addition to these two factors, I realized that I can’t announce my success as a blogger, because not everyone will be happy for me. What is this world coming to when someone recieves equally, negative feedback and positive, in response to their success? Sure that’s reality, but I didn’t see so clearly the truth in the quote, Watch who congratulates you when you succeed, until now. Jealousy is a terrible thing.
I’ve had an a few unfortunate situations arise as a result of my blog, the last few days. None of it has been due to my choices, but as a result of others responses to my posts. It’s saddens my heart really. I thought we supported one another here, but I clearly see that’s not always the case.
All that being said, thank you again to those who sent positivity my way in response to my March Stats. I’m going to continue striving to provide helpful, positive, encouraging, and creative material so that I reach my 10K. I encourage all of you to set high goals and believe you will get there.
I’m looking forward to writing again soon.