Life

Sometimes, I suck like a bad blow job

My name is Brandy, and I’m an ugly son of a bitch when I’m at ” that point”. Today was horrible and I currently hate myself for how today went. How easy it is to say ” love yourself, be graceful and forgiving.” Actually feeling that right now, I’m not capable of.

I overreact with my boyfriend. I probably messed up his birthday 😦 Yeah, see I really suck sometimes. I didn’t take the realization of a misunderstanding very well. The blow hurt, not that it was the intention. It wasn’t. On to the next blow, and the snowball just tumbled.

From there, I didn’t eat today. I didn’t take my antidepressants, and it’s woman time!!! GUUUHHHH, all of it is stacked against me.

Tonight, it’s a sick and overtly tired 3 year old and spicy banana pepper pizza, watching the blind auditions of The Voice and keeping to myself.

I can’t STAND the person I am at this moment. I think it’s best if I just try to keep to myself. In this mindset, my mind immediately went to ” I have no one who loves me.”” Everyone who’s ever met me isn’t any longer a friend,”” I must be a real bitch.” On and on.

Surely none of those are truth. Pain lied to me… It builds on the situation until the whole small issue, the initial issue seems like all of my existence sucks.

That said, take my example and learn 🌸

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13 replies »

  1. Pain does lie! I am proud of you for knowing that. I can relate to this so hard. When I disappoint my boyfriend or feel overwhelmed by symptoms or life, I can easily fall into a self loathing cycle. Do try to be gentle with yourself. Isolation is a solid coping skills, just don’t stay away too long. ♡

    Liked by 1 person

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