2AM Thoughts

When the last several days have taken every morsal of my strength, “relaxing” is a bit difficult to do. That’s me, right now… Two a.m. this Friday morning.

On Sunday, my world took a spin when my ball joint (aka CV Joint I learned) went out on the driver side of my SUV… While I was driving it…with my two girls in the vehicle. I had been hearing a friction sound, something like metal rubbing up against a surface as if not enough space to “clear” without damaging it. I, mistakenly, had written it off as low power-stearing fluid. *Mental Note* It’s way more serious and shouldn’t be ignored.

Thankfully, I literally just turned right and traveled a house or two down the road when the incident occurred. If this were to happen, close to home, barely driving 20mph is exactly how Id hope it would.

To my surprise, shortly after I got “stuck”, my neighbor (whom I’ve never spoken to), came out to check on us. She kept watch for traffic, offered to bring us drinks, and insisted I push her house doorbell should I need anything at all. I wondered why I hadn’t ever said hello to her in my 3 years in this neighborhood.

To be honest, and Im sure this is relateable, immediately following such an event… My brain was utterly useless. Flustered, anxious, embarrassed, angry… I was feeling too much to know what to do first. Her help was so thoughtful and kind. She didn’t make me look foolish or irresponsible. She didn’t judge me or make it seem I could have prevented this some how (although Im sure I could have). That’s moral support I needed exactly at that moment.

In addition to the one neighbor, I had a second one stop over and offer help. He knew someone who could put the car parts on for me, which really was the top priority. Sure, replacing them was going to be expensive, but that doesn’t cost much time if you have the money.

As Sunday turned into Monday, then Monday to Tuesday… My muscles tighten more and more. My stomach wouldn’t settle. I simply can’t eat when I’m an anxious mess. I knew depression was setting in when I woke Wednesday morning and didn’t even want to get out of bed.

One person messed up the new CV joint, that was the wrong one for my vehicle to begin with. It was late at night, and my driveway looked as if I was having a block party. The machanic was older and couldn’t see what he was doing. To rent One particular tool needed to do the job cost a couple hundred dollars. Meanwhile, my older daughter was trying to adjust to school, and my girls had their sleep schedule all kinds of off.

Though this week has been a hellish and stressful circus, I can already see the silver lining.

Life really does work itself out… And believe it or not, always in a way that’s best for us. I ended up with a not one but two major problems solved, two new pet turtles, a greater appreciation for my neighborhood, and still have some money in my pocket.

So the lesson from this is, I may not always see the way out… But, I will get past what “this” is, every time… And so will you. Then, we’ll look back and wonder how. I’m not sure anyone but God knows the answer… But, the important part, we have so far… And we will continue:D

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3 Comments on “2AM Thoughts

  1. So glad you’re ok. As everything else, as you said, can be fixed, replaced, etc., in due time. You’re not alone, these times aren’t like the ones before us, there are few to trust – even your neighbors. However, God always sends His angels when you need them, and He sent them to you in form of your neighbors to help you when you needed them the most. 😊🙏🏽

    Liked by 1 person

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