💭World of Difference
I believe the sequence of events in my life has lead me to right where I am. The right decisions, the poor choices, hard consequences, every small victory, broken relationship, and road block. My past, well equipped with both successful and failed moments, is how I am here today.
…. No matter what, I’d never change any of it if it were possible!…
HOWEVER,…. My power gifted by God himself, is that of choice. Maybe I couldn’t decide, at 5, whether or not my mother would die. At 13, I wasn’t able to decide for myself how I needed to handle the family turmoil I was experiencing.
In those moments, though, God was trying to teach me… Listen Brandy. There are reasons why these things are happening. Listen my child, I’m trying to show you, listen, so you understand my heart… And my love for you.
Now that I’m old enough to decide much more for myself, I realize the lesson I didn’t hear before. Listening, especially in situations of which we can’t control… In situations of which we don’t get to decide, is what we must do… So we understand!
Let me explain further. Today, I live my relationship where I’ve chosen to walk a long, rocky, lonely, uncertain road…where fear can easily swallow me up and steal my sense of sanity. It’s my choice to face this situation because this LOVE is worth it. I’ve chosen this path because He’s who I’ve been searching for all my life. I get to decide if I cry in fear, rant in rage, or laugh when I see him.
While I can’t change how long this goes on, when he visits, what details I am told, In all the moments when “I can’t”…. I sit… And I listen… To understand. Those moments, in silence, is when I hear his heart… His love.. His love for me and his intentions… I hear his wisdom. I hear his pain.. I accept his imperfections and beautiful flaws. I allow another life to impact mine… I give this gift of time… and I demonstrate that He’s valued… what he tells me is important and I understand him. Through listening, I silence all my selfish thoughts about myself, and I redirect my focus to him. I intentionally focus on what he’s saying or not saying, doing and not doing, so I better understand him… because he matters… and I want him to know he matters to me.
Because I have accepted I don’t always get to control every aspect of my life, I’ve been blessed by the gifts of others. I’ve been blessed with moments of divine wisdom from others teachings. I’ve been able to deepen relationships, strength my appreciation of adversity and embrace the beauty of Difference. I’ve been able to laugh from the soul, cry with relief, and provide encouragement when needed.
With that being said, my point is this, I’d never change anything that lead me to right now… But, I’d teach others to quietly sit, with a desired sense to authentically and openingly listen… To ourselves.. To God… To nature…to others… The birds, wind, children laughing… Everything….
There’s so much more to this world…. There’s so many more in this world… Than ourselves. When we truly embrace that, we become a better version of ourselves without even realizing it. If we all began with bettering ourselves, as ironically as it sounds, we better life for everyone else…
“It is not the the bruises on the body that hurt. It is the wounds of the heart and the scars on the mind.”
― Aisha Mirza