Now

❤️ Let that sink in, for a minute. You don’t know when it’s “your time”. In fact, you started dying just moments after you were born. Every second, minute, hour, day, week, month, year up till, “now”, was always “right now”… You didn’t see it as “yesterday”, because you don’t live in it. You don’t see it as tomorrow because you don’t live there either. You are right now… And so, what will you do with this “now”? It’s all you have. Never two measurements of time can be lived twice… And one moment of time will end every next … Continue reading Now

Lost & Found

Finish the Story:

” I felt lost but also didn’t want to be found.” she wrote in her journal. She, then, closed the book and looked up

and glanced at the framed picture of herself, with Max, she had hung on the wall. Four years has passed since that horrific July night; but, Laura felt every minute of it as if it were just yesterday. What if she had paid a bit closer attention? What if she had picked up that call when he tried reaching her? What if she made a little more time being in the moments that she spent with her best friend. Would she have heard his pain? Would she have seen the truth in his eyes and behind his constant radiant smile?

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L.o.v.e

  Love: L = Listening to understand Learning to compromise Letting your guard down Loading up days with commitment And effort. O = Offering emotional, physical, and Financial support. Opening your heart to be vulnerable and real. Occupying yourself alone when boo is busy. Optimizing the strengths of one another. V = Visiting mistakes to learn and change. Vacating behavior that jeopardizes solidarity. Verbalizing your thoughts feelings and emotions. Visualizing future plans with this individual E = Encouraging one another to be your best selves. Ending arguments with a hug and kiss Engaging in mature conflict and resolution practice Envisioning … Continue reading L.o.v.e

World of Difference

💭World of Difference I believe the sequence of events in my life has lead me to right where I am. The right decisions, the poor choices, hard consequences, every small victory, broken relationship, and road block. My past, well equipped with both successful and failed moments, is how I am here today. …. No matter what, I’d never change any of it if it were possible!… HOWEVER,…. My power gifted by God himself, is that of choice. Maybe I couldn’t decide, at 5, whether or not my mother would die. At 13, I wasn’t able to decide for myself how … Continue reading World of Difference

When the Day is Done

When the day is done, momma, and you just collapse from it all; it’s ok. You’ve just spent another 24 hours feeding, changing, chasing, teaching, loving, leading little lives down the road of May 16, 2018. God knows it takes mighty strength to do it again and again. Up early, preparing meals, arranging appointments, day care, and extra attention when littles are sick. Only you momma are capable of all this requires. The nurturing spirit, the arms around your neck. When your babies smile at you, or they snuggle next to you, as you settle in before bed. Those are … Continue reading When the Day is Done

Letter to My Momma💗

Dear Momma: Happy Mother’s Day Darling! It’s so incomprehensible that I am older than you were when you passed away. It’s not fair. I’ve needed you dozens upon dozens of time over the last five years… But, life isn’t fair. Though you’re not here, I feel you live through me. I am your only daughter with children of her own. Zivah was born 5 years ago, and she’s named after you. Calandra was born 2 years ago, and she’s compassionate beyond a normal person. Many times I question if I’m doing this Mothering right. I question if I’m too strict. … Continue reading Letter to My Momma💗

Tumbling

His heart was racing, at least a million times per second. His entire body felt like it was covered with a six foot layer of cement. As he reached out to grab ahold of something, anything, his hands flapped wildly. There wasn’t anything to touch. There wasn’t anywhere. He struggled to breathe, anxiety and the unknown stole his ability to calm his mild. Every wild Friday night in the country, by the river… Drinking Hennessy and playing to close to the fire.. Every fight he had with his stepfather, about the abuse his mother took, every cigarette break, in the … Continue reading Tumbling

Closer

To be self-reliant, independent, and together is utterly attractive. To enjoy children, display chivalry, and work hard is utterly attractive. To respect privacy, implement trust, and provide encouragement is utterly attractive. To be thought-provoking, strong, and vulnerable is utterly attractive. BUT To not be needed is just damn sexy! Continue reading Closer

Live the Moments

Enjoy every moment. They go by so fast. I can’t agree with this statement. Some moments are not very “Enjoyable”! No matter what we would do, could do, should or shouldn’t do… That’s the inevitable: some moments will just plain suck! A statement I do agree with; a statement I try to always remember… Is ” Live every moment. They go by so fast, and you can never get them back.” Just because moments are painful, sad, difficult, or overwhelming… Doesn’t mean they’re not valuable and important. Living in those moments, teach just as do the joyful times with light … Continue reading Live the Moments

Good Morning

Hello Everyone=} It’s Monday! How is everyone feeling? Positive? Hungover? Chipper? Whatever you are, remember that you are alive! That’s a gift. Some individuals are fighting to stay alive. I’m super excited because today will be a “First” for Zivah. I bought her a ticket to see Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure in the nearby theater. I’m thankful that she and I are able to so this, as mother and daughter. Memories, like this, are ones I wish I had. I wonder if she’ll like the seating and the big screen. I’m curious if she’ll be ok sitting still long enough to … Continue reading Good Morning

End

She stares. She cries. Over, and over, and over. The endless insanity of questions is breaking her with every cycle. Her focus is repeating her memories, trying to figure out where things went wrong. Everything in such an abrupt end feels like a terrible dream. She stares but she doesn’t see what’s in front of her. The memories, the tender moments, and the pain of her grief haunts her. The past is everything that happened a moment ago and before. Everyone tells her things happen for a reason. Right now, she recognizes and understands the purpose, though it doesn’t bandaid … Continue reading End